Most of the time men get turned upon seeing an atrractive woman. And women get turned on being around an attractive man.

But this kind of “getting turned on” is temporary. It can happen in a split second and vanishes just like that. And today I am talking about permanent attractiveness.

You are a female and your male companions think that you are attractive. That is permanent attractiveness. You are a male and your female friends find you to be really irresistible. That is also permanent attractiveness.

But how does one know that he or she is attractive in this context?

There are two indicators that we should use to gauge the level of attractiveness. For men, it is how many women are actually willing to sleep with him.

Shallow? Yes. But please hold your judgement first.

And for women, it is how many men are willing to be her partner and raise a child or children with her.

Complex? Read my argument later.

When it comes to mating, each gender brings different thing to the table. For a male, most of the time the male will try to prove that he can provide for her in order to win her. And the female in return will give her egg once she is confident that the male can really provide for her.

And this complex process happens subconsciously because it is biological in nature. We don’t even think about it.

So if you are an atrractive male, a female is willing to give you her egg (sleep with you) because she knows that in case she conceives, you are able to provide for her and the offspring will be as strong as you are. It costs her more to sleep with a man than a man to sleep with her. Women’s eggs are scarce resources because women produce only one in a month. And men’s sperm are plenty. Not that scarce-lah.

Even for a one night stand, the same thought process takes place. That is the reason why sometimes a woman might have one night stand with a guy that appears to be “the man” in a club but a woman will never have sex with a derelict on the street.

And for a woman, you are attractive if a lot of men find you desirable to be a long term partner.

These men are willing to share their resources with you , take care of you and raise an offspring together. On the condition that the offspring is one that they know comes from them and are actually their offspring.

What happens when we use the wrong indicator in measuring our attractiveness?

For a men, when he thinks that women’s willingness to share his resources with them is an indicator of his attractiveness, he will be TOOLed by women. He becomes an ATM machine , pays for dinner and shoes and etc. And yet gets nowhere with women in a relationship.

And for a women, when she thinks that men’s willingness to sleep with her is an indicator of her attractiveness, she will be USED by men. She is just one of the women that happens to be blessed with his millions of sperms. If she conceives, there is no guarantee that those random men will be there to raise the offspring.

What prompts me to write this in the first place? I tend to recall an event where one of my female friend said that polyamory should be allowed in order to trade up with polygamy being allowed. She said that women should be allowed to have many partners and to know who is the father of a child, just do a paternity test.

Yes, very simple. I have no issue with that. I am sure a man has no problem if required by law to provide for a child that does not come from him just  because he has slept with the mother a few months back.

But I am not so sure if the man does not mind taking care of the women herself upon knowing that she is sleeping with some other men than him.

Maybe this is the reason why polygamy is allowed but polyamory is not.

Think about it folks !